2. My personal story of self-hatred.

Dysmorphic

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Jul 21, 2026
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★Beginning★

It all started in childhood. From childhood, I was too thin and disproportionate.

This affected my self-esteem, and soon I began to notice

other little things about my appearance.


Prepuberty

As I matured and entered adolescence,

I began to notice that I felt insecure in public

and couldn't look at myself in the mirror or on someone else's camera lens.

This was due to my dissatisfaction with my own body and face.

Since adolescence, I was diagnosed with "rickets."

This is a disease in which the body lacks building material

for bone/cartilage formation due to low levels of vitamin D and calcium.

This led to a deformed chest.



Adolescence

At 13, I began to realize something was wrong with my face.

A big nose, a reccesed jaw, bags under my eyes, a big forehead, pimples.

This is the first thing about my appearance that I started to consider unattractive.


Around 16, I became familiar with a topic called "Looksmaxxing."

Gradually, I began to delve deeper into this topic, developing a growing interest in it.

Researching the topic of jaws further, I decided to check my bite.

It turned out I had a severe overbite with a crooked spee and a severe degree of occlusal deviation.

A little later, I learned that my jaws were very narrow. Around this time, I began actively using

Some methods, such as Mewing and Chin Tucks, and I also joined a gym, which helped a little.

At 17, a year after I corrected my tongue position in my mouth, I began analyzing my results.

It turned out to be zero. I spent days and nights reading about appearance and came across the topic

CWW Rotation - it stated that appearance depends directly on biomechanics and muscles.

It turned out that my posture was Cooked. I began correcting my neck protraction, relieving tension in my pectoral muscles.

I chewed with my premolars and performed acupressure on my masseter muscles, protruding shoulder blades, and asymmetrical trapezius muscles.



Age 17-18

Desperately trying to correct my face, I did exercises and maintained my posture for 12 months.

Every day I took photos, comparing them to my baseline, and every day I was disappointed to see no progress.

Before
IMG_4734.JPG

After
IMG_0471.jpeg

1 Years difference

Not seeing results, I started researching braces, MARPE/MSE, and the HeadGear Face Mask. Then I realized that perhaps

This was my salvation, but after looking at the price of these devices in my country, I fell into despair. After a couple of weeks

I needed to let off some steam, so I just cried in my room, thinking that nothing would help me anymore( >.< )



Now

So we've reached the present time. After I broke down emotionally, I started looking for...

methods to get money, since I pay for the apartment, food, and everything else myself. I couldn't find any methods. I couldn't find the money for treatment.

I couldn't find the money for treatment at the orthodontist's. At one point, I came across a post about a girl who had committed suicide because she hated her own appearance.

Honestly, I burst into tears at that moment, but I realized which direction I needed to take...


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About us / О нас

  • A forum for those who can't afford appearance correction. Post your story, describe the treatment (braces, MARPE/MSE, surgery), raise funds, and share your progress.
  • Форум для тех, кто не может оплатить коррекцию внешности. Опишите проблему и необходимое лечение (брекеты, MARPE/MSE, операция), организуйте сбор средств и делитесь успехами.

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